Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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