I'm gonna have a badass scar
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
