if you like me you must not know who I am
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
