I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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