once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
