dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
