Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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