I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
well you can't waste a boner
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i dont even know how to be here
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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