come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
