Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
