if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
