Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
