arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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