I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
