I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
