I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize