did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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