So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
