Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
