Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
