I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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