I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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