You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
