It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
