he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
