Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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