Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
