you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
