Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
