We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so explain again why im purple
no
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
