hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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