shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
