Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
