thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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