Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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