dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
