No awkward lesbian experiences without me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
