i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
