The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
