He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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