So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
