i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
