This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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