Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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