You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
