you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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