I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
time to smoke my breakfast
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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