sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
