4 words: hood of his car
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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