I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
