I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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