is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize