just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
