Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
