Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
