So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
