he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My vagina is officially offended.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
