Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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