it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
