Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
