love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
