she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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